i feel so alive when the muscles in my legs hurt

I was never much of an athlete my whole life, but I always wanted to be.  It wasn’t necessarily about fitting in, really.  I never fit in, in high school, or college, and for the most part, I had given up on trying.  I had people to talk to, so that I wasn’t a total hermit, and that got me through to the end of the day, for the most part.  I never cared to be popular - sure it seemed appealing, but I just didn’t care.  Things like pokémon seemed more exciting at the time.

It wasn’t about trophies either.  I had quite a number of trophies on the bookshelf in the living room for people to look at - i picked up one every summer since i was 8 from the library for reading 25 books.  I am still proud of my 10 reading trophies.  Sure they weren’t and will never be as hip as a trophy for a karate tournament or a soccer one, but I was proud of them.

Being athletic wasn’t about wanting to be fit either - it was more about accomplishing something.  Sure I read lots of books, and captured a lot of pokémon, but they never took as much effort - I didn’t train for it, I didn’t sweat for it, and when it was all over, nothing changed.  I never look at those reading trophies anymore, but I think I might have looked at a trophy from a track meet from time to time.