i’m still in the dark lighting candles

Occasionally, we light candles in our house, and turn off the lights.  My mom does it for the nice smell and atmosphere.  I’ve never liked those flowery smells they come in, or the feel of a darkly lit room with a single candle letting a few shadows dance around, but i have learned to cope.  Last time this happenned, was during a black out in the last hurricane. We must have sat around for hours around this one measly candle waiting for the storm to let up, or the lights to come back on.   We were not doing anything but talking, but somehow we needed that light.  We wouldn’t have talked unless we could look eachother in the eyes.

Even though i always liked fires, i never thought much of candles.  They can be bright, but never quite light up a room.  They can be big, but can never replace a fireplace.  They can be fragrant, but can never replace the smell of wood burning.   A candle can never quite do itself justice - it tries to be so many things, that it ends up doing no thing well.  It tries, though.

When i was little, i used to be afraid of the dark, always keeping a light in the hallway on, or sometimes even a closet light on at night, when i went to sleep.  I even had a phase, where i got my mom to buy a nightlight, because the light from the hall wasn’t enough.  It lasted for a long time, but not long enough.  After the light ran out, i never bothered to replace the bulb, or even unplug it from the wall.  I’m not afraid of the dark anymore, but i still keep the light in the hallway on at night.